OMG GUESS WHAT

I managed to snag Merz's laptop when she wasn't looking, and, thus, I have created a blog! :D I hope she doesn't find out. There isn't any way that she could, right?...

Anyway, this is just going to be a place for me to post my deepest thoughts, secrets, and recipes. And hopefully Froze, Nora, Haley, Jesse, and Vic don't ever find any of this...or my cousins Thaddeus, Labyrinth, Miles, and Spencer...that probably wouldn't be the best thing in the world for them to find. Because this is a place for me to OPEN UP and FEEL FREE AS A BIRD.

Besides, I'm pretty bored because Vic is with Froze right now, om nom nomming up all of our precious time together D8 It's just not fair that I have to share my wife -- err, my girlfriend -- with my twin brother. I mean, who has to do that? At least I know she loves me more because we have two kids whereas Vic and her only have one. ;D And as cute as Jesse is -- he has Vic's tush -- he's still sort of mean and annoying to me. Always trying to burn me with cigarettes. I swear, I have scars! Look, look!

Maybe I should sorta describe myself. Even though I'm taken, I'm sure the ladies would like to know. *wink wink wink wink*

I look seventeen but I'm really older because I AM A SHAPESHIFTER OH YEAH. ARE YOU IMPRESSED? I have long silver hair and silver eyes and I'm really skinny; I don't have Vic's tush. You know, the one everyone keeps talking about. I like skinny jeans, rainbows, sparkles, sunshine, happiness, and cooking. I don't like Froze's "I have a headache, go back to sleep" routine, cigarettes, drugs, or copious amounts of alcohol, because the last one makes me do things I don't remember. Last time I ended up in a dress and I couldn't find my underwear, so it wasn't exactly a nice day for me.

I should also tell you about my family, right?

Froze is my amazing, beautiful, gosh darn SMEXY girlfriend. She's insanely pretty and she has some nice bewbs. Haha, don't tell her I said that. ;D She might try to kill me with a kitchen knife. But seriously, her bewbs. BEWBS. She's like, a Realmer and stuff, too, but that doesn't matter really.

Nora is my little sweetheart apple crumb cake. ♥ She's my first daughter, and her twin brother is Jesse, who is Vic's spawn. Isn't it funny how that happened? It was also kinda awkward, too, but everything is okay now! She's a Realmer just like her momma. ♥

Haley is my snuggle-wuggle smooshieums! She's a shapeshifter, just like me! She shifts into a cat like me, too. I am so proud of her. But she's incredibly innocent, so I have to make sure Froze, Jesse, Vic, and Nora are careful around her. I walked in once on Nora and Froze teaching her French curses and telling her they meant things like "sparkles" and "sunshine"! I didn't know at the time, but Vic told me that's what they were later. :(

Thaddeus, Labyrinth, Miles, and Spencer are all my cousins. Labyrinth was mean at first and scared the poo out of me and Vic, but he's all nice and caring now after he went away on that long journey! He's best friends with my ex-girlfriend Mercedes, too. Miles and Spencer are brothers, but only Spencer is a shapeshifter, and he and Haley are good friends because they're both super innocent. Thaddeus is kinda mad at the world right now, but he's a good guy. He has nice hair, I think.

I have super special awesome friends like Mercedes Montgomery and Alison Gavin, who are both my ex-girlfriends, but no hard feelings! Mercedes had nice bewbs, too, but Ali was really flatchested. And Gore, Ryder, and Hatchet have been my friends for a long time! We had some good times back in high school, oh boy. ;D Gore and Ryder's stand-in mom Anna Rose Ravenblood and stand-in dad Eric Ravenblood are kinda my stand-in parents, too, since mine died. And the rest of that vampire clan is sorta my family, too. Even though Albrecht is a bit annoying sometimes...

I guess this is pretty good for a first post, right? I'm going to go see if there's any mojitos left in the fridge and go listen to some Metro Station and Ke$ha. Man, isn't she just AWESOME? ♥ I wanna know where she's buys all that glitter from.